THERAPY FOR SELF CRITICISM & SELF HATRED IN Vancouver, BC.
YOU’RE EXHAUSTED FROM CONSTANTLY GETTING BEAT UP FROM THE INSIDE.
You’ve tried ignoring the inner critics. You’ve tried distracting yourself from them. You’ve tried to convince them that they have you all wrong— you’re not the looser everyone dislikes and thinks is an embarrassing idiot. Sometimes it gets a bit better temporarily, but it doesn’t stick.
At times, you lose the battle and find yourself believing them. You get convinced that you are, in fact, embarrassing, incompetent, unlikeable, and you should just stay home. It’s too big of a risk to go to that event, or get on a dating app, or apply for a new job. And what’s the point anyway, no one will talk to you, or want to date you, or give you an interview…
Feel FAMILIAR?
Struggling with NEGATIVE SELF TALK
Ready to stop BEATING UP ON YOURSELF FOR EVERY MISTAKE
Wishing YOU BELIEVED YOU DESERVED KINDNESS
Hoping you MIGHT GET A BREAK FROM THE HARSHNESS INSIDE
Here’s what we’ll do together
THERAPY for SELF CRITICISM & SELF HATRED CAN MAKE LIFE FEEL LESS LIKE A BATTLE.
It’s hard to believe, but self criticism and self hatred are actually forms of protection.
It seems counter-intuitive that harsh and cruel parts of ourselves might be trying to protect us. But honestly, I have never met a critical or hateful part of a person that didn’t have some kind of protective intention. It seems confusing at first, but when we slow down, listen deeply and get curious, we often learn about why these parts were so needed.
For example- for those of us who experienced bullying as a queer or neurodivergent children, often parts of ourselves try to jump in and force us to conform. While their tactics are harsh “you loser”, “no one likes you”, “stop acting like that”. Their intentions are often good— if you stop acting like that people wont treat you so badly. So despite their harshness, they actually want us to hurt less.
Unfortunately, knowing this isn’t enough. These parts are often rooted below conscious awareness and require gentle and intentional care in order help create more internal ease.
YOU’RE OPEN TO GETTING CURIOUS
THERAPY FOR SELF CRITICISM & SELF HATRED CAN HELP YOU:
Feel less exhausted
It takes a lot of energy to beat up on yourself all day. And the energy to try to push back the critical and self-hating parts is no small amount either. This inner battle before, during and after events of daily life takes time from rest, connection, and enjoyment of life. Plus, it sucks and hurts.
01
Spend less time feeling like shit
If a friend of yours had a small team of gnomes following them around telling them what a worthless, stupid piece of shit they were all day, you wouldn’t be surprised when they started to feel like shit. Same thing with parts of ourselves inside.
02
Be braver and take healthy risks
It’s really difficult to take a risk when failure not only means not getting the job, or the date, or the grant, but it also means you’re going to get beat up from the inside 24/7. “Told you you couldn’t do it” “Who do you think you are?” “You’re such an idiot for thinking they would want to date you”.
No wonder reaching for something you might not get is so scary.
03
Maybe even… like yourself a little more
When an old therapist of mine suggested I try self compassion, I looked her dead in the eyes and said, “Barf”. Neutrality? She offered hesitantly. “Fine” I agreed.
The point is, liking ourselves is complicated and can feeling strangely out of reach, or even threatening. We’ll move slowly, curiously and see what is possible.
04
Change is possible.
Feeling like you suck isn’t inevitable.
FAQs
COMMON QUESTIONS
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Yes. Together we’ll work to figure out what is driving these bad feelings and what can be done internally or externally to help feel more ease inside yourself and in your life.
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First, know you’re not alone. Many people experience negative self talk. And it’s really common to feel embarrassed to acknowledge it. Understanding that this is just a part of you, and not your whole self, can help with these feelings. This is where we will start.
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No. This isn’t required for me to help you. Sometimes people find it a relief to say things out loud, because when we hold them together they can feel less overwhelming, but I can help you without you getting specific.